Goodbye my lover
by Majani
Summary: Short Story and Sequel to "I still hold your hand in mine" - After the tragic events in his hometown, Dougie has been sent to a foreign country. Will he ever be able to leave his past behind and move on?


_Disclaimer:_ Ah hell, you know what it's about. Mcfly goes to Mcfly and such stuff.

**A/N:** So this is the sequel to "I still hold your hand in mine". It's another short story and I guarantee for a happy ending eventually lol The genre was comfort, but I added a little cheese, hehe. for the romance sucker :) pairing wont be joynter, as danny's not anymore. but I added another nice character, who goes to me, wuhu! (my male being lol it's his pov btw) Anyway.

Quotes were: **Have you ever been alone in a crowded room? - well I'm here with you**

**all the time I spend alone, now won't comfort me**

**don't it feel like sunshine after all**

**I believe there's a place for you and me in this crazy world **

So take a moment... Nice quotes, aren't they? What would you have written with them? ;) comfort. dougie in a new place. lost his lover. weeeell :D now take a look, what I did with it!

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Goodbye my Lover - You've been the one for me

-

I was kind of nervous, when I packed my two suitcases, took a look over the huge building in front of me and made my first step inside. In the secretary I got the key for my new room – My new room for the next five month.

A new age had begun and I knew it would be fun! Finally I finished school and was now ready to start with my studying. To go to a good university I had to move to another town into a home for students. No problem for me. I was always the guy for group things.

When I entered the room for social activities, which was also the kitchen and somehow the living room, there were several girls and guys sitting on a leather couch.

"Hey! A new face! Welcome!" They helped me with my things, invited me for dinner and asked me out. I was glad to be accepted so easily.

The following nights I sat together with them, talked about god and the world. Sometimes I stayed longer than the others in front of the TV - And so did I on this special night. Lazily I switched from channel to channel, without really looking for anything interesting. Suddenly the door opened and a boy came in.

I'd never seen him before, though I was here for about three weeks. He threw me a intently glare, as he cooked himself an instant meal. For some reason I couldn't take my eyes off him. He seemed so fragile and vulnerable, I just wanted to take him in my arms and comfort him.

I felt his eyes once in a while on me, too. As he disappeared again, I realised the bitter and sad expression on his face.

The next day I met Maria, the inofficial leader of our floor. We chatted a little before I asked her about the boy yesterday.

"Who is he? He's never here with us",

"Yeah… he's not from here. Nobody really knows something about him, cause he doesn't like to talk. I even don't know what he does study… hm, but his neighbour sometimes hears him playing bass",

"Bass? Really? But that's awesome! I play the guitar", I cheered.

"Then go ahead. I really think he needs some company. He's been alone for about two years. I've never seen him with a friend or something. Always alone. I'm not even sure he speaks our language…"

"Of course, he does. How shall he survive??"

"He's a complete mystery, you will see. But he's hot, isn't he?" She winked to me. "I wanted to flirt with him, but he seems to prefer the other shore",

"Good to know", I laughed and said goodbye. The rest of the day I couldn't forget this boy. Maria didn't mention his name, so I went to his room in the evening and read the insignia on his door.

Poynter. Dougie Poynter. What a name.

As my heart slowed down, I was able to take notice of my surroundings again. I could hear tunes. Was he playing his bass? I pressed my ear against the door.

No, it was a normal guitar. He played a song and he sang to it. If I could just hear more of it. Damn door. I was tempted to knock, but then I reminded myself he didn't know me.

I had to wait for a chance to get to know him.

I never was one of the patient kind. Though I waited for about one week, til I met him again. No day passed without thinking of him once or twice. Sometimes I spent minutes in the floor, which gave a sight into his room.

Maria was right. This boys was a complete mystery. Most of the time, when I watched him like the last stalker, he played his guitar or his bass.

I waited for seven days - But then the chance crashed right into me. The morning started as always. I locked my door and took a glare into his room. It was all dark. Shame. No Dougie Portion for today.

It totally turned around, when I stepped out of the lift and recognised him in front of the black board. He just stood there and stared at one green flyer. I'd seen it before. It was casting flyer for a band.

Shall I talk to him? My heart beated hurtfully as I walked to him.

"You wanna join?" I asked with a shaky voice. He turned around, realised me and within seconds his surprised face turned pale and bitter.

"Maybe", He mumbled.

"I think you have the potential for it", Again he turned to me in surprise. "Äh… I listened to you playing the guitar and you play really well! Try it!"

„Are you my neighbour?" Somehow his confusion was brightening my day.

"Ahm… no… But from time to time I see you playing in your room… ahm, I can see into your room from my floor… äh…"

"You were watching me?" The embarrassment made my cheeks flush.

"Once in a while… äh… yeah… you know I play the guitar too and I was wondering… maybe we can play together? You wanna show me something? I'd really like to!" I gave him my sweetest smile, but despite the usual reactions, sadness overcome him as his eyes were stuck on mine.

"You're playing the guitar,too…" It was not a question, than rather a statement.

"Yeah! Hey, I want to join the casting! We can practise together?" I tried to cheer him up again, but it made him even sadder.

"Well… we can… maybe… later. Excuse me", As he turned away, I was sure there were tears in his eyes. For god's sake, what have I done wrong? I wanted to make him smile, but made him cry. Stupid me?

I hadn't thought long about it and knocked on his door the same day. My heart beated so hard it hurted, as I heard him unlocking the door.

Again he was surprised to see me. I was surprised to see his naked chest.

"Hey… I just wanted… to say sorry, cause of the thing in the morning", With force I made my head go up and look into his eyes.

"The thing…?" He asked confused.

"Well… the thing I did, so you rushed off", Gosh, I felt more stupid than I usually did. Not just because I started to sweat from not looking elsewhere than his face. Was he naked? Did he wear boxers?

"Oh… oh… this thing", He relaxed a little. "It was nothing with you",

"Surely?"

"Yeah, surely", He replied my bright smile in a little smirk. "Ahm…" It got a little silent between us. "You wanna come in?" I oppressed to sigh in relief and happiness. Hurrily I nodded and stepped into his room.

He wasn't naked. He wore trousers.

I never recognised the loads of things in there. He had posters of several bands and his probably homecountry on the wall. In a corner laid a guitar and a bass, his bed wasn't done, but full of sheets with his handwritings on it.

"You're writing songs?" I asked without thinking and before I could touch anything, he grabbed everything together and put it into a drawer.

"I do, but they're lame", He mumbled.

"Come on… I write some, too. You write personal stuff?" I sat down as I watched him getting nervous and sad again.

"From time to time…" Alright – wrong topic. Change immediately!

"What about the casting? You think about it?"

"Hm, yeah… it's in a month. Maybe I'll do it. At least I have nothing to loose… nothing but my dignity, my pride, my self-confidence…" He had humour! And I loved it.

"Nah, I'm sure you do fine!" I grabbed the guitar and played some chords. "Come, play me something! I will play something for you, too!" Winningly I smiled at him until he stopped to glare sceptically at me and took the guitar.

"Alright… but turn around. I can't play when you look at me", I laughed loudly and faced the wall.

"So? Give me everything you have!" He snorted laughing and played some tunes, before starting the real thing. I was caught from the beginning.

"_Tonight I'll go to sleep just to escape  
And try to kill this feeling that I just can't shake  
When morning comes back the feeling will to  
I've done all I can now what else am I supposed to do_

_As much as I don't want to  
It's time to move on  
I'll miss you more than you'll ever know  
It's time to leave my past  
To another wasted tomorrow_" He finished cause his voice broke up and I thought I die. As I turned around I found him covering his face with his palm.

"You're alright?" I asked worriedly and took the guitar away from him. He looked up to me and I saw tears in his eyes. Seconds passed as he scanned my face, touched it with his glare.

"Please, go", He murmured suddenly and looked away. I swallowed hard, waiting one more moment to let him take it back, but he didn't so I nooded and went to the door.

"You shall really go to the casting, Doug. You play amazingly", I said before I closed the door. This boy was indeed mysterious. All covered in **secrets**. For some reason it didn't scare me off as it usually did. Quite the contratry – I wanted more of him.

The next day I knocked on his door with some breakfast. We ate together and I didn't mention the last evening. He was glad and even laughed a bit. I loved his humour and thought I could listen to him all day, making jokes about some stupid main stream bands.

The following day I invited him for dinner and we sat together until the morning, talking about random stuff.

So the days went by and suddenly I found myself spending each day some hours with him. I woke up and knew I would meet him. The guys in our floor were all happy for us.

For me – Cause he made me obviously really happy, and for him – cause he found somebody he could talk to. Though I still didn't know why he did talk to me.

Sometimes I had the feeling I remined him of someone. When I did, he got such a different glare. Maybe it was his ex-girlfriend? Or… his ex- boyfriend?

I never asked him, but always remembered the song he played to me. No matter who it was, he had loved him or she. What had happened between the two of them?

We talked about his childhood, about his school and his friends in his old hometown, but never about the reason he came here. I got the strange feeling, he wasn't here cause he wanted to.

Anyway, we spent a great amount of our time playing the guitar and wrote together some songs for the casting. I wanted to join, too and dreamed of him and me in a band. In fact I found myself each night thinking of him and me.

Of course I flirted with him – That was the way I am, but I was always looking for him to flirt back. And he did. He even replied my bodycontact– tries.

One day I couldn't hold it back and asked him to go out to a club. He was sadder than ever this day, but agreed. I took him to a club, which was more of a café. It was pretty good music, the lights were flashing and I wished I could be with him in the middle of the dancing crowd.

Even after some beer he was still silent and thoughtful. All my stupid jokes didn't help to make him smile from the heart. Time passed by and I got badly drunk. So drunk, I asked him for a dance. Obviously he agreed, cause he took my hand and leaded me to the middle of the room.

Just as I had wished.

It was like heaven on earth. First we just swang with some distance, but then I grabbed him around his waist and pulled him nearer to me. I felt him hesitate, shrieking back. As our eyes met, I expected refusion, but against all my expectancies I was confronted with fear.

We kept on dancing. Again I tried to pull him nearer, as he suddenly whispered: "No, no, they could see us, Danny",

He was really drunk – to call me _Danny_!

"They don't care, Doug. They dance just as we do and don't give a damn about us", I replied and touched his back. "And my name is David", I added whispering into his ear.

"I know… but you look so much like him", He sighed sadly and hugged me suddenly. "Why can't you be him, why…" We stood still between the moving bodies. What was going on?

All I could do was to hug him in comfort, as he grabbed tighter. "Your eyes, your face, your smile… is like his. Almost the same. But you're not him…" He pulled away to look at me. "No, you're not him", He repeated and wanted to leave me.

"Hey! Hey! Doug, explain me!" I held his bitter sight until he gave in and walked back to me.

"**Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?**" He asked me to make me feel bad, but I didn't gave in. He had to know, I was there for him.

"**well I'm here with you**" I replied and squeezed his hand. "I don't know what happened, alright? But I'm here, if you need anything…"

"I just need one thing, but you can't get it for me, so don't ask…" I felt it was my time to get to know about his secret.

"Come, we go for a walk", He didn't refuse, just let it happen. His thoughts were elsewhere. With his secret – but I would know about it within the next hours. This time I didn't know I would have been better off without knowing.

We walked around. I made lame jokes again and talked about the cool, summer night, as we entered a little park. The stars were visible on the sky. Even the moon shined half full above us. Almost perfect, if my perfect boy hadn't been sad like nothing.

"Doug… what's wrong…? Who's Danny?" I asked when we sat down on a bank. The next moment I regretted it, as I recognised the tears in his eyes. "Doug… Doug, what… shall… you don't have to… I just wanna know, cause it's bothering you",

"Bothering… yeah…" He repeated cynically. "Danny… is my first boyfriend. I knew him since forever. He was… my… _eve-ry-thing_", It was his blessing the alcohol made his tongue move. I guessed he wouldn't be able to talk about it in sober condition. "I wanted to live with him here. In a free country. But before we could escape, they caught him and… and they... killed him. Well. I could escape… but he… he…" The information hit me so fast I could just stare at him in disbelief. "Fuck, you can't imagine, David. You just can't. He was perfect to me. There will never be somebody like him again. He was perfect…"

"I'm so sorry, Doug…" I managed to say after some seconds of silence.

"It's alright… no, it's not. But… what shall I say?"

"Nothing. You had people to comfort you?"

"I came here just knowing my uncle. But they're not so fond of me, as I never talked to them. I was not able to… so I moved into the student place. I had the lonliness…" He smirked sadly. "But **all the time I spend alone, now won't comfort me" **

"Well… but there's me", Somehow it woke him up from his memories and made him look up to me.

"Yeah. I was dead until I saw you on the couch that night… I was so stunned, I couldn't sleep", I smiled and felt a warm feeling in my stomach. So he had felt the same way I did back then.

"Same with me…" Gosh, this fucking butterflies. "Ahm… Dougie. Really, this is fucked up with Danny… when I can do anything for you, tell me straight, yeah?"

"Hm…" He smiled again, but this time with his eyes. "You already do. Thanks for putting up with me", If he just knew, how much I wanted to spend more time with him.

I laid an arm around him and pulled him into me. Firstly he was stiffed and unrelaxed, but after some time of stroking his hair, he leaned back and even laid his head on my shoulder.

My heart jumped - but somehow it was different, now I knew about this Danny. It was hard to imagine, but I felt that Dougie loved this guy. Probably it was his real, first love – Taken away by society. Damn.

It made me hug him even tighter.

"I'm here… you really don't have to worry anymore", I mumbled in his hair.

"Yeah. That sounds just like him",

"He was a good man?"

"He was… perfect",

"Tell me a good memory of you two", I whispered - and he told me. We spent the whole night talking about his feelings. I knew it was his first. He never lost a word about it, but as he finished and the sun came up, he was all relaxed and laid-back in my arm.

Somehow we made it home. I wanted to make sure he gets right into his bed, but didn't leave the room again. We slept side by side.

So did we the following days. We were close. I got to know that Dougie had different moods, but just little signs showed the difference between it. The best sign were his glittering eyes when he smiled because of me.

I tried to reach it as often as I could. I wanted him to be happy and I couldn't stop making a fool out of me to get it. Well, I guess I did everything to make him mine, even if he still belonged to Danny.

On the day of our casting we sat together in the park – He in my arms.

"Hey… it's the same bank as… the night I told you about Danny", Dougie recognised.

"Yeah. And now tell me… you are with me - **don't it feel like sunshine after all**, too?" He laughed about my good memory and shook his head.

"It does. With you it does…" He repeated almost inaudible and took my hand. Words couldn't describe how it made my heart jump.

"Ahm… look. I bought you something for the casting", His eyes got big as he discovered the **teddy bear** in my hand.

"Are you serious??"

"Well, yes. It shall bring you luck and think of me", I answered brightly smiling.

"Gosh, David. I'm not a girl! I need something like a… Mercedes-star or… a bottle of whiskey!" I let him talk and patted his head, as I knew he would keep this present for the next years.

"The casting will be soon. We're better off", I took him by the hand and enjoyed the people, watching us as we stepped away.

Standing in the same room with all of the others, I hugged him again, as he was next: "You will do it, alright?"

"Yeah. I have this lovely bear. There's nothing holding me back", He answered and showed his tongue. "I feel sexy as a girl! They won't resist my female aura",

"I won't let them get you. You're mine", I grumbled and pulled him closer.

"I'm yours", That was more than I had hoped for. My heart exploded. "I knew there wasn't a place for me and Dan, but **I believe there's a place for you and me in this crazy world…**"

I watched him entering the room, closed the door behind him and heard him talk to the blonde and bold guy. I knew he was the right bassist they were looking for and maybe I was the right guitarist.

Dougie sat down, took his bass and played like hell. They asked him if he was a writer too and to show it. He smiled to himself as he strummed the chords to his newest song: "_I've never seen a smile that can light the room like yours…_"

-

**A/N: **Tadaaa! The happy ending :) The song Dougie played about Danny was "Wasted tomorrow" by infinites end (gosh this song made me cry so much...) and the last line is from "you had me at hello" by A day to remember

So! I hope we're all happy now with Dougie :D


End file.
